Your browser doesn't support HTML5 video.
40:50
Dec 14, 2020
If you’re interested in learning how to attract Asian women and want to know how to start conversations with girls in any situation, first I want to ask you one very important question:
When it comes to how to attract Asian women, do you believe in abundance, or do you believe in scarcity? This is the key factor that separates the “babe magnets” from the average, frustrated guys.
Guys who have a scarcity mentality believe that single, attractive women are in very short supply. Therefore, they feel they need to chase women, try to impress them, and spend money. Once they’re into a girl, they’ll do anything it takes to date them!
Scarcity guys are always getting hung up on one particular girl and if the girl rejects him or gives him the old “I just like you as a friend” speech, he feels frustrated and depressed because he worries that these opportunities on how to attract Asian women rarely come along. He tells himself that he “blew his big chance.”
Then, there are the guys who believe in abundance. These guys know that the universe has provided us with an endless supply of fun, sexy, single women. (Which is the truth, honestly.)
These guys know that where they live, and the places where they hang out, contain any number of great options for having fun and meeting girls. They know how to approach and talk to them with confidence and charisma.
The “abundance attitude” guy knows there are literally an endless number of women who want to be with him! (And this is very true if he’s able to make occasional trips to Asia.) Therefore, there is no reason for him to worry about finding a girlfriend right now, or worrying about whether a particular girl will ever return his phone call.
In reality, this crazy world we live in is FILLED with opportunities… especially if you possess the right level of confidence and an understanding of how to attract women (instead of having to always pursue them).
It is essential that you develop this abundance mentality… and then, you need to know how to talk to girls in the most effective way. The other part of having an abundance mentality is that YOU become “scarce” to women. In other words, you are not always available to them.
Once you start getting to know women and getting them attracted to you and then limiting your availability, so they don’t always have access to you, you’ll be amazed by how much harder these girls are going compete for your attention.
This is what the girls want. A guy who is a challenge.
There’s a phrase that salesmen and marketers use, which is called “perceived value.” This means is if you create the perception that your product is scarce and in “short supply, whether it’s true or not, people are going to want it that much more.
With women, you want to be the “scarce and valuable guy.” The busier you appear to be, and the more active and interesting your social life seems to be, the more value women will place on you.
If she calls you on the phone to chat, and you tell her you can only talk for a minute because you’re heading out the door to a birthday party for your friend, she’ll know that you’ve got other options. You’re not the typical lonely dork who clings to any woman who shows him interest.
And guess what… the girl on the phone? Her jealous, competitive instincts are now kicking in when you tell her “I need to go.” You are a guy she wants to win because she sees you as a scarce, valuable resource. She realizes that she’s not the only girl trying to spend time with you!
Maybe the ultimate example of what I’m talking about is the diamond industry. It’s a multi-billion industry built entirely on an illusion of perceived value.
How “valuable” is a diamond, really? They’re tiny crystals of carbon, that’s all! Sure, they’re shiny and pretty, but no one ever needed a diamond until the people controlling the industry teamed up with the world’s top advertising agency… and managed to convince us all that diamonds are the ultimate symbol of eternal romance.
If you loved a woman and wanted to marry her, now you had to shell out thousands of dollars for a diamond ring. She expected nothing less!
At the same time, the mining and production of diamonds is tightly regulated and controlled… so that demand will always far exceed supply.
The diamond cartels that control the industry in South Africa continue to pay millions of dollars to advertising agencies which force-feed women the notion that diamonds are incredibly rare, special and romantic. (And it’s not just women that buy into this myth.)
Think about it. Perceived value. Do women view you as a diamond, or are you just one of a million ordinary stones they’d find on any beach?
So better stop being the average guy who takes the “scarcity” attitude towards women… and life. This is the guy who meets a girl, and things seem to go well, but then she starts acting cold towards him… distant…NOT returning his phone calls and emails…and so he starts to freak out and get anxious and depressed…
He doesn’t realize that because he made his interest in her so obvious, she picked up on the fact that he was just another average, single guy with no other options and nothing exciting going on in his life. Therefore, she saw him as low-value guy.
Instead of letting women size you up and determine that you’re just another low-value dude with nothing special to offer, you need to be the PRIZE that women seek to WIN. You want to strike her as a guy of high value who has confidence and other options.
This means when you’re talking to Asian women (especially the very attractive ones), you gently tease them instead of trying to agree with everything they say. You use the art of Push-Pull, which means teasing a girl and making her feel that maybe she’s not quite up to your standards, pushing her away a little and then “pulling” her back in by paying her a compliment and giving her ego a little boost.
This is very powerful stuff when you use it correctly. Remember, the last thing you want to be to women is ordinary and totally predictable.
Ordinary, predictable guys make it obvious when they’re attracted to a girl and she knows he is hoping to hook up with her. Ordinary, predictable guys stick with boring, “safe” topics of conversation, for fear of saying the wrong thing. Ordinary, predictable guys don’t inject fun into the situation. They don’t give women the sense that anything can happen tonight.
Shake things up. Have fun! Make her smile and laugh and think that you’re nothing like all the other guys who to earn her approval.
One tactic I like to use is the “instant relationship,” where you playfully suggest that you’re already dating this girl that you only met a few minutes ago, or that she wants to date you, but you’re not so sure.
For example, I’ll ask her to tell me her favorite singer. Most Asian girls will give you the names of pop stars, which you can then tease her about.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe you think Britney Spears is a great singer. Great lip-syncher, maybe, but singer? I’m sorry, Jessica, but this is not going to work out between us.”
Then pull her back in by paying her a quick compliment about something else and shifting to that topic: “But I have to say, you do have a nice sense of style. So maybe I can forgive you for the Britney thing.”
Be creative with these. You can turn any topic such as music, movies, travel, your favorite type of food and etc, into ways to playfully tease her about what she likes or doesn’t know about.
You can also say things like, “I just hope you know how to give a good back massage, because that’s very important if you’re going to date me. I had to break up with a girl once because of that… she was really sweet but she was the world’s worst masseuse.”
Instead of talking about massages, it could be anything… a girl needs to know how to cook, she needs to be well-traveled, she needs to be open-minded and love to have fun, etc… and you know…. I even dare to introduce the “bring a friend” request!
Again, these things should be said playfully. If you were to say these things with a straight face, you’d run the risk of offending her.
The bottom line is, you’re implying that you’re a guy with standards. The ordinary, predictable guy would have just nodded his head and gone along with whatever she said. Not you. You turn it into an opportunity to tease her a little and show some confidence and humor.
I also use the “Point System.” When a girl gives me an answer that I like, I’ll “award” her some points:
“OK, so you like going to the gym and working out. I like that in a girl. I’m going to give you two points for that. Now just be careful about your answers from now on, because if you can get up to ten points with me, I’ve got a special surprise for you…”
My “special surprise” is that I’m going to give her my phone number. This is when I get her number, too. I am talking here of more high level girls, of course. With many girls in Angeles or Pattaya, you don’t need a game at all, haha!
On the flip side, when she says something that doesn’t sync up with my own preferences, I’ll tell her I’m “deducting” two points:
“Are you serious? You’ve never seen an episode of ‘LOST’? That’s one of the best television shows ever. I’m sorry, Lucy, but I’m going to have to deduct those two points I gave you earlier…”
This can be a fun game to play when going down the path of how to attract Asian women towards you. I’ve had conversations with beautiful women where the “point system” framed everything that we talked about! Every time I asked her a question about anything, she was pausing… trying to give me a “right” answer… and waiting for my verdict to see if she’d won more points. We had a lot of laughs over it, and I was completely controlling the whole interaction.
It’s great because you’re completely “flipping the script” of how a conversation normally goes between a guy and a girl he’s trying to get to know. If she’s hot, she may have never encountered a guy who was this much fun to talk to… and this confident in himself.
For example, I’ll say to a really hot Asian girl in mid-conversation:
It’s too bad you’re not my type, you seem like a cool person.” Then I’ll change the subject and never bring it up again. She’s thinking, “how can I not be his type? I thought I was every guy’s type!” If I keep flirting with her and building her interest in me, she’s going to work harder to prove herself to me because for some reason, she thinks she’s “not my type.” It seems counter-productive when figuring out how to attract Asian women but it levels you as the real “prize” and not her.
This new attitude also means that when women want to see you, you’re NOT always available. Give women the sense that you’ve got stuff going on and if you’re going to hang out with them, it needs to be on your schedule.
If a girl texts your phone and asks what you’re up to tonight, don’t immediately reply “nothing, how about you?”
Instead, wait at least five minutes before replying and then tell her, “Finishing up dinner with some friends… I’ll text you when I’m done, let’s try to meet later for a drink.”
Obviously if she’s texting you to see what you’re up to, she wants to see you but.. don’t give her the sense that you’ve bored and alone!
I decided to publish this article on the free tour here in full simply because I feel its important information for all viewers. Whether they are members of Asian Sex Diary or not. I publish articles liek this often inside and you can learn about them on my Extras page.
Next up: Good Push-pull strategies